Recipe: Obama's America (Peanut Butter Cookies)
Welcome to the next recipie, we're
going to make a delicious lie that will be called racist because
people who happen to be black will be mentioned in a not so positive
light by someone who isn't a democrat. That's right people, this is
OBAMA'S AMERICA!
It's so good, I couldn't wait. Seriously, this is some tasty stuff- though I probably could have made it neater. Oh well.
This is a peanut butter, gram,
chocolate and sugar master piece that will taste great while having absolutely nothing of substance. In fact it is not healthy at all.
But most people will like it (unless they have a peanut allergy, but
like all people hurt by the Obama administration, those people don't
exist).
Lets assemble our ingredients.
This a layer... cake... pie...
monstrosity?... thing. (It's cookies, let's go with that.)
For your top and bottom layers you
will want the following (my phone ejected my ingredient pictures...
gotta look into that):
Crust:
12oz chocolate kisses
12oz peanut butter kisses (they exist,
though many stores only see the Reeser's variety)
Half a package of gram crackers (about
¾ cup)
For the filling you need the
following:
Filling:
1 ½ cups Gram crackers (generally one
whole package)
1 cup peanut butter
2 cups powdered sugar
1 cup melted butter (big deal, I
forgot it while making this for a minute and had to do some cleaning
because the sugar will go everywhere while mixing!)
And I bet you're asking, “What's the
ingredient break down?”. Well, let's do this!
First, “Wait, isn't this supposed to
a meal like last week?” wasn't Obama supposed to be a President?
Okay so the milk chocolate is brown,
because Obama's skin color was so important to him and everyone else.
Yes, it needs to be brown chocolate, not dark chocolate, not white
chocolate, if you it's any other color, white- your racist, dark
chocolate- you're implying Obama wasn't black enough, so you're
racist. It must be brown, and you must call that browness, black,
because calling a black person brown, even if that is in fact their
skin color, is racist, because observing surface level facts, is
racist.
Up next, the peanut butter. Did you
know George Washington Carver, though he did invent a crap ton of
things and new methods, did NOT invent peanut butter? (Check it for
yourself:
http://www.nationalpeanutboard.org/peanut-info/who-invented-peanut-butter.htm
) Did you also know that, apparently, pointing out that Aztecs did so
likely a thousand years before the US even existed, let alone Mr.
Carver, is apparently racist? Did you know that pointing out that
giving the wrong race credit for something, if we give credit by
race, is itself racist, is also racist- because black people? Did you
know that black people need to live vicariously through the
accomplishments of other black people, thus making honest analysis hate
speech? Well we all found that out during Obama's America now didn't
we?
Don't worry, best results will come from the cheap in store brand of peanut butter that might not even be mostly peanuts, because we wouldn't want that
to be more real, that might be racist too. (Careful how much you
breath, if your black every breath must be to thank the democrat
party, if you're white, you're stealing air.)
Finally, all the sugar is because we
want you to like this, despite the fact that every bite will have
virtually no nutritional value at all. In fact, you'll probably want
to make this again and again, despite not being able to site what was
so great about it, save for it having “protean” (like Obama Care,
universal health care that even democrats seriously criticized). Your
body may not even be happy with you for having it, but it will have
so much sugar, you'll have pleasant memories of eating it anyway.
Finally, yeah, it's not really a meal.
The meal is a lie, everything is a lie, you know it, the sugar will
make you like it, but this is a dessert. It's cookies. Parts of
it might be good for some things, it might be okay in small doses,
but no, please don't eat this as your dinner for real, it's not
healthy. Maybe make another
TRUMP'S AMERICA!
Now that's that's all done, don't
worry, this is pretty easy to make, even if you screwed up Trump's
American, with making this- “yes you can!”.
Let's do this!
First let's make the filling because
melted chocolate does not appear to stay melted for long (yes, later
we will be melting chocolate).
Filling
You have your white powdered sugar,
the color of which I suppose you'll want to make disappear. Put a cup
of that in a bowl.
Notice how this looks like a few
illegal drugs? That really has no significance. It's like pointing
out that BLM supporters are notoriously violent towards white people
and don't seem to care about any black issue that doesn't involve
shaming white people- apparently pointing that they act a lot like
what you might call a hate group isn't important.
Next, take a big bowl and crumble up a
bag of gram crackers into it. The gram crackers will make a nice
crunch that you can tell your friends who try this, “those are the
nuts” or “they're wafers” when you know for a fact that is not
what they're tasting. You can even say “I promise it is...” and
you'll be just like Obama promising to shut down Gitmo in his first term.
Now melt a cup of butter. You're just
adding this to make sure it's not too messy.
Now take all of these and a cup of peanut
butter and mix them all up in a bowl with an electric mixer.
Here is what your mess will look like-
Oh I'm sorry, that was the mess Obama
left the Democrat party with.
This is your mess:
Now to make the “crust”.
Crust
First let's get out our chips, 2
twelve once bags, one peanut butter kisses (or chunks) and one
chocolate kisses (or chunks).
Heat them up and mix them up.
As those are heating up, take about
half a back of gram crackers
And break them up like before.
Now pour the melted chocolate and
peanut butter on the gram and mix it up. As you're mixing, just
think, Carver did NOT invent peanut butter. You just had a racist
thought.
On to our layers.
Layers
I used a 13X9 pan but 8X8 might have been a better idea,
up to you on how thick you want your cookies to be.
Remember, trying to run someone over
because of the color of their skin is not racism- as long as your
victim is white. That wasn't racist! You thinking that didn't sound right, that was racist.
Cover the pan with half of your crust mix:
Freeze. Now take it out and cover the bottom layer in your peanut butter mix.
Freeze again.
Finally cover with the remainder of your crust mix.
It don't gotta be pretty, in fact you
can't criticize it, that would be racist.
Put this in the fridge for a few hours
and there you have it:
OBAMA'S AMERICA!
Crust:
12oz chocolate kisses
12oz peanut butter kisses (they exist,
though many stores only see the Reeser's variety)
Half a package of gram crackers (about
¾ cup)
Crush gram crackers.
Now melt peanut butter and chocolate
kisses in a pan and mix them into each other. Pour mixture over gram
crackers and mix.
Filling:
1 ½ cups Gram crackers (generally one
whole package)
1 cup peanut butter
2 cups powdered sugar
1 cup melted butter (big deal, I
forgot it while making this for a minute and had to do some cleaning
because the sugar will go everywhere while mixing!)
Crush gram crackers. Melt butter in a
pan. Now add all ingredients into a bowl and mix with an electric
blender.
Layers:
While hot, add half of your crust
mixture to the bottom of a pan, pan size can be large if you want
thin cookies, or small if you want thick.
Put bottom layer in freezer.
When bottom layer is frozen, take it
out and spread filling over it. Freeze again.
Take back out and spread the rest of
your crust mixture on top
Comments
Post a Comment